Friday, June 17, 2011

The Love Element

When I was researching BDSM online recently, I found that some participants claim that love and BDSM don't mix. Before making my fantasies a reality in the past year, I had fantasized about BDSM since I was a young girl and I must admit I do not recall ever imagining love being a part of it. I do not know why. I was also a girl who never daydreamed about weddings with white dresses, happily-ever-afters, houses with kids, fenced yards and all that. I guess I never really thought about love in general.

When I was in the dating scene in high school, I dated boys from school just to go through the motions. I never enjoyed it. I dreaded being driven home from a date because I knew the boy would always want to sit in the car in the driveway expecting a kiss, and I hated kissing all of them. I felt no attraction to these boys that were close to my age. I wanted an older man. I did finally start sneaking around with older men. Some of them were 40 or more years older than me. I had more fun with them than with boys my age, but still I couldn't find anyone I could love. I even married a man 32 years older than me but I was not in love with him. I was very unhappy for many years.

Then I met Master. He is an older man but the ingredient I've been missing all this time before meeting him was raw male strength - that of a leader, protector, disciplinarian, guide, teacher, mentor, even father figure. I know some might scoff at the whole father figure idea, but the fact is that Master has given me the nurturing and unconditional love that I never received from my own parents. There is probably something psychologically twisted about that but all I know is that my needs are being met. For the first time in my life I am happy, really truly happy...not just some pretend happy.

There will be plenty of time for me to expand on the details on this blog, but for now I will say very simply that Master and I are in love with each other. We've known each other for over a year and are making plans to move-in together and to eventually marry. For us the element of love has not been a problem. In fact, it has actually enhanced our lives. We are Master and slave, but also lovers, best friends, confidants, playmates and much more. We have had many discussions about our love for each other and have even in the past concluded that we would still love each other even if I decided I didn't want to be a slave or he a Master. Our love has not in the least undermined the power dynamics. Master is boss and I know he is boss. I know my proper role in our relationship.

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