Saturday, June 18, 2011

Why Sophia?

There are many theories about what makes the perfect BDSM relationship.
This blog is dedicated to exploring the relationship between me and my slave, Sophia Anne.

Sophia is not my first slave, but I intend that she will be my last.
She is the first I have ever sought a permanent 24/7 relationship with, and I expect to eventually marry her, making her my first slave wife.

Of course, before then I will have the opportunity to train her and perfect her ability to serve me as I choose, thus proving her worth and earning her the right to wear a ring on her finger to compliment the ones on her nipples and clit.

Sophia is the perfect woman for me. To paraphrase an old Victorian saying, she is a lady in the drawing room and a whore in the boudoir.

She is totally submissive to me, but more importantly, she loves being submissive, rather than merely being accepting of it.

So far she has passed all of my tests and met my challenges, albeit not without disciplinary measures on several of them, especially the ones which had to do with bodily privacy.

I have broken her of the conceit that she is entitled to any privacy where her body is concerned and she now realizes that I own it and it is mine to do with as I wish.

I would like to explain my philosophy of discipline for my slave and invite your comments.

First, Master's word is LAW. A command is to be obeyed cheerfully, diligently and immediately, or in a timely manner if that is not possible.

My slave always has the opportunity to point out a problem with her being able to carry out my orders, if she feels that she cannot for some reason. I will then consider her plea. At that point, if I agree, I may relent on my order. However, if I feel her objection is merit-less, I will order her to carry out my order regardless of her objection. Further pleas are met with immediate punishment for abusing her privilege to object and she is then expected to obey.

Should she fail to obey, or should her performance be unsatisfactory my slave is ALWAYS punished. This is an inviolable rule. Performance or punishment. In this way my slave learns that Master MUST be obeyed and that it is useless to make excuses or to attempt to play on his sympathy. I have none.

That is not to say that should my slave not complete her duties that I will not allow for extraordinary circumstances. However, allowing for them will at best mitigate her punishment somewhat. I do not give orders which I don't believe can be followed, so while there might be an explanation why her performance is unsatisfactory, there is NO EXCUSE for failing to do so.

Punishment is the inevitable result. However, punishment is an opportunity for my slave to redeem herself for her failure. To me, administering punishment is an act of love, which reinforces my slave's conviction that I must be obeyed and is her chance to learn from that failure and resolve to do better in the future.

At the end of her punishment the protocol is for her to thank me for correcting her for whatever her shortcoming, and a pledge to obey in the future. She must then attempt the task again, and if need be as many times, with as many punishments as necessary to finally do as I command.

She knows that she will never escape the need to perform her task and also that the punishment will escalate with each failure to please me until she does.

However, with each punishment, she demonstrates her willingness to accept not only my punishment, but also her desire to improve as a slave and to obey me in the future.
Thus, she always earns a clean slate for the future and there can be no carryover of anger at her for failure to please me, because she has substituted her suffering for her performance.

As a result I can afford to be infinitely patient with her, while always knowing that she will ultimately do as I command her. In this way we turn a negative experience into a positive one which reinforces her obedience and gives her a sense of pride for taking responsibility and pain for her actions.

My ultimate goal is instant, enthusiastic and diligent obedience for any order I give, regardless of how distasteful or daunting it might appear to her at first.

She knows and expects that I will continue to test her and to push her limits so she can grow both as a person and a slave. She also knows that I will never give her an order which will cause her harm, although she may be required to endure pain, humiliation or some other type of discomfort or denial. Her training will never end.

Above all, though, my slave knows that no punishment will ever be meted out from anger. All punishment is calculated to accomplish one of two things, either obedience or sexual stimulation.
Obviously I have been talking about punishment for obedience reinforcement here. But the goal is the making of a better slave by correcting behavior which would undermine the relationship if allowed to continue. As such that punishment is necessary and is given in the spirit of love for my slave, since I wouldn't want anything to compromise our relationship and I know that my slave is happiest when she feels totally dominated. As I see it, it would be cruel NOT to punish her for inadequate performance.

At least that is how I see it. How do you discipline your slaves?


  1. let me ask you a question in answer to yours. why do you believe that punishment is the only or the best way to train a slave?

  2. Sir J,

    That is an interesting question.
    In answer I would first ask you exactly what is a slave?
    To me a slave is a person who voluntarily submits, by contract, to ownership by another person. Once they have become owned, they no longer have the rights of a free person, or even a submissive sexual partner.
    This is a quantum difference in the relationship between two partners. A submissive may disobey her dominants orders, has safe words and while they are expected to be obedient, it is a game and they may stop playing at will.
    A Master/slave relationship is no game. It represents a commitment and a power transference which is both real and permanent. Obedience is not a choice. It is an imperative.
    In training a slave, it is necessary to condition them that their obedience is not a gift or a courtesy to me. It is my right and their duty. I could just reward them for obedience, but if I were to do that, they could always begin to feel that they could disobey if they didn’t want to obey or the reward was insufficient to motivate them.
    Punishment is therefore necessary because only the threat of punishment constantly reminds the slave that they are in fact a slave, not a submissive, and that they no longer have the right to disobey for any reason.
    In the absence of that threat a slave will never feel totally dominated and owned. A slave has only those rights granted by her Master. How better to impress this upon her than by being able and willing to punish her for the slightest transgression, or merely to illustrate that she is a slave and subject to whatever whim I as her Master have for her.
    Thus she is flogged for disobedience, but also as a test of her obedience and also to remind her that I own her body and may do with it as I wish. I may pierce it, tattoo it, brand it or whatever I like.
    She may, of course, decide that she no longer wishes to be my slave, but short of that, she must and will obey every order I give her. It is my firm belief that punishment reinforces her sense of total surrender and makes her both happy and secure in her servitude. She sought dominance and cannot be happy without it. What’s more, she knows that my punishment is for her own good. It corrects behavior which lowers her my satisfaction with her as my slave and gives her the opportunity to atone for that behavior.
    She feels both relief from guilt in not performing to my satisfaction and also pride in taking her punishment well. Thus punishment solidifies our relationship as Master and slave, makes her feel happy and secure and gives me the satisfaction that even if she has been less than satisfactory, she knows what she did wrong and she has shown her willingness to atone for it through suffering and promises to do better in the future.
    Therefore punishment is a the key to training a proper slave in my opinion. There are, of course, an infinite variety of punishments and I may motivate my slave in other ways than punishment. The bedrock of a Master/slave relationship will still remain punishment, however.
    I am a Master. I’m not running a motivational seminar. Sophia is a slave. She gave up her right to disobey when I locked her collar in place. She knew before she became my slave what would be expected of her and what would happen to her if she displeased me. She agreed to it and eagerly accepted her slavery. So now she lives with that. And she loves it. That is all the proof I need that my method works.

  3. Master Roger,

    I am not questioning whether or not your method works for you or you abilities or your motives. Please do not think I was attacking you. Rather I am seeking to understand a mindset that many Doms have that I do not. I don't often question this of other Doms, it has been my experience that many react poorly indeed, however in your writing you seemed of a more moderate mind set and your answer proofed this correct. Consider it a compliment.

    So to your response on the question of what is slave, I agree with your definition and we can proceed from that basis.

    My problem and the area I keep coming back to, and yes I understand there may not be an answer to this, is inherit in this statement you made "Sophia is a slave. She gave up her right to disobey when I locked her collar in place." If we accept this as true then there should be no need to punish as there should be no disobeying. Further you said "Thus she is flogged for disobedience, but also as a test of her obedience " and I wonder why is it necessary to test her obedience if you in fact know that you own her. I realize this is a smart ass comment and I am truly asking it to illustrate my point not to piss you off but do you also periodically check your auto registration to make sure your car is yours?

    Which brings me to the crux of the matter for me which is "Punishment is therefore necessary because only the threat of punishment constantly reminds the slave that they are in fact a slave" and my continuing dilemma with wrapping my head around this thought process. If she signed a contract, and wears a collar and is happily doing so, she agreed to it and is eagerly accepting of it then why the need of the big stick?

    Again I am not questioning your methods with your girl nor am I seeking to make you change. I am interested in the conversation however if you are not tell me to get lost and I will.

  4. Sir J,

    My response to your comment exceeded the maximum number of words permitted in the comment section so I made it a post, entitled "Why I punish".
    I hope you will enjoy it.