Wednesday, July 6, 2011

In Response to Her toy

I was typing a comment in response to "Her toy" but it turned into something I think I'd like to post here on Master's and my blog.  I am so glad to have found this BDSM community on the blogosphere because not only is it comforting to find others of like-mind, but I am learning from others and also finding comfort that some face the same hurdles that I face.

Anyway, here is the comment I was making, the length of which I felt deserved to be an actual post.
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Hello Her toy,

Thank you for leaving a comment.  I am glad to know that other submissives and slaves have similar difficulties (both male and female!).  The saying goes that "misery loves company" and I must agree that it is true.  I am miserable sometimes that I misbehave but it helps to know that others struggle with similar issues.

Sometimes I want to kick myself because some of the orders I have disobeyed or whined about are orders that Master has given me to help me and to benefit me, even his orders for me to enjoy some of my hobbies or favorite sources of entertainment.  I feel that I am ungrateful but I am learning to become more obedient.  I know that all of Master's orders are given with good reason.  He never makes frivolous orders just because he is in a position of authority, but instead issues demands that will either benefit me or us.  (Even the order to suck his cock strengthens our relationship in that when he is pleased I am, too!  And oh how I delight in hearing him voice his pleasure when I am down between his legs.)

I always wished that someone would come into my life to push me to do things I needed to do - like cracking the whip to force me to exercise!  :)  And of course to have someone, some outside force, to push me to accomplish things that I either procrastinated doing or avoided all together.  It is so nice now to have that motivation.  I wish to show more gratitude and to actually obey in a timely and enthusiastic manner the very orders that I've been wanting all along.  I also want to make myself stop trying to find excuses for my behavior, to quit trying to explain things away and to gratefully accept my punishment.

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