Saturday, July 2, 2011

Master's Intuition

I imagine lots of little slave girls like to hide their fantasies out of shame or embarrassment.  Sometimes we hide them from our masters and maybe even from ourselves.  We can't hide them for long because all a master has to do is an arousal-check by sticking his fingers in our slits to find out how wet we are.  Have you ever seen anime porn where a female character is tied-up and whipped?  She'll scream and cry, tears streaming down her cheeks, but her captor humiliates her by saying he knows she likes it because he can see her juices dripping out of her cunt into a little puddle, and her cheeks will blush a cute shade of pink.

I pride myself on being open with Master.  I do not like to hide anything from him, and even when I've disobeyed or forgotten one of his orders I will confess because I do not like the guilt I feel if I think I'm hiding something from him.  Usually I'll confess of my own volition but sometimes I forget to confess and when Master asks if I obeyed him and I haven't, I will always tell him the truth.  He says I'm indolent sometimes, and I agree, but I'm also terribly absentminded and get so distracted by my thoughts or other activities that I will forget even a simple task or ritual.

The Master and slave relationship is always one of giving and receiving to one another.  Slaves can always say that their only aim is to please the master, that they forgo all their needs for him, but the role of the slave is not purely selfless.  We get something out of it, namely the pleasure we receive knowing our master is proud of us and that he is pleased.  We get the sense of security from submitting to his dominance.  I cannot think of any act of giving that is purely selfless.  Even random acts of kindness are not purely selfless because the giver or doer feels pleasure and a sense of well-being at having given.  Master once told me this is called "enlightened self-interest".

In our relationship, Master is always using his intuition to learn about my needs.  Sometimes I will reveal them to him directly and other times he can figure them out when my subconscious reveals them in words I say or things I do.  I have sometimes teased Master about the fact that I believe he has some kind of extra-dimensional feelers that probe into my soul to extract information.  It really truly seems to me that he can read my mind and soul.

Master is really good at figuring people out.  He is extremely intelligent and also has a power of intuition that is eerily otherworldly.  He has spent a lot of time getting to know and figure out my character and psychology.  I couldn't hide anything from him if I wanted to.  I know he really wants to make sure my needs are met to keep me happy and so he is always observing me.  He really wants our relationship to last for a lifetime.  (He says he wants me happy so that I can live to serve him but secretly I think he truly enjoys seeing me happy.)  He puts so much effort into it.  As a slave I live to serve Master, but in a way he is also serving me.  We fine-tune ourselves to meet the needs of the other so that we become a perfect system.  We will always aim to have perfect symbiosis.

Every now and then I would make a comment about bullwhipping and somehow Master figured out that it was a fantasy of mine.  I could feel myself blushing from head-to-toe when he said to me, "My little pain-slut fantasizes about being bullwhipped, doesn't she."  My first reaction was to let out a little giggle.  I was speechless for a few moments while I tried to think of how to respond.  (Master has a way of making me speechless sometimes.)  I was ashamed of this fantasy for some reason.  I'm still new to BDSM and have only started to experience receiving pain but I can't get the bullwhip fantasy out of my head.  Master says to me that we will eventually have to fulfill my fantasy.  He is a wise master, though, because he wants to build my pain-tolerance before I experience this.  He wants to make sure I will be able to handle it.  I can have some pretty kinky fantasies but I know that in reality it's possible I could learn very quickly that making them a reality probably wasn't the best of ideas.  I do not know if I will ever be able to take it, to be honest.  The idea excites and thrills me.  It makes me wet, and yet at the same time I am very afraid of that bullwhip.  The reason I wonder if I'd be able to handle it is because even being whipped with just a belt can really hurt.  For a while we were using a wider belt during punishments but then Master wanted to switch to a narrower one - which he calls "The Persuader" - and I'm not as fond of that one as the previous belt because it has more of a sting.  I seem to learn my lessons much quicker with that one.


I am one of the lucky submissives because the master I ended up with is one that I will always be safe with.  Like some other submissives I could have easily found myself in a precarious situation with another dom.  While I have fantasized about BDSM and slavery since I was a girl I had never been in a BDSM relationship and have had no experience whatsoever with S&M, so I did not know the ins-and-outs to being careful about who I submit to.  I was very naive.  Yes, before meeting Master I had only fantasized about being with cruel unloving masters.  When I was only five years old I would hunch the floor to orgasm, even though at the time I did not know what I was doing.  As I got older I was very frequently masturbating to my fantasies.  (For many years - and still today - I used masturbation to relieve anxiety and nervousness which I developed early on from having an abusive father.  So I am always horny!!)  I had never imagined mixing love with slavery.  For that matter, I had never been in love before.  I was just too picky about men.  When I met Master I fell in love with him.  Shortly after, we signed the Master/slave contract and then he fell in love with me.  This has been what I've needed all along.  Even if I have very masochistic fantasies I know that in Master's hands I will be safe.  I get all my needs met, the most important of which is the lifelong need I've had of unconditional love.

Thank you, Master.

2 comments:

  1. How nice that you are getting all your needs met, especially the need for unconditional love. Hope you keep sharing your journey with us.

    FD

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Florida Dom. Thank you for reading and for the comment. We will definitely keep sharing our journey. It's been nice to discover the BDSM community on the blogosphere.

    ReplyDelete